Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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