So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize