Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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