Texts From Last Night

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...

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  (719): I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel... http://tfl.nu/j6ej
  Replies (13) Good night (2465) Bad night (468)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.

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  (313): I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures. http://tfl.nu/7qyy
  Replies (91) Good night (1196) Bad night (11751) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.

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  (630): They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today. http://tfl.nu/t7wc
  Replies (18) Good night (4507) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.

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  (540): It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic. http://tfl.nu/37md
  Replies (5) Good night (863) Bad night (2609) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking

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  (917): You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking http://tfl.nu/a0v5
  Replies (11) Good night (3477) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.

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  (773): I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word. http://tfl.nu/3o13
  Replies (17) Good night (4810) Bad night (1052) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them

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  (407): Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them http://tfl.nu/nkku
  Replies (7) Good night (794) Bad night (1634)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order

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  (443): Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order http://tfl.nu/s460
  Replies (4) Good night (1084) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

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  (615): Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ? http://tfl.nu/0u6g
  Replies (5) Good night (1872) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.

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  (703): The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night. (703): The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie. http://tfl.nu/hgcg
  Replies (27) Good night (996) Bad night (2535)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.

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  (+44): Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room. http://tfl.nu/d3jd
  Replies (5) Good night (1281) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.

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  (509): I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition. http://tfl.nu/x5ll
  Replies (4) Good night (1321) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.

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  (732): Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking. http://tfl.nu/mu8a
  Replies (3) Good night (969) Bad night (232) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark

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  (780): I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark http://tfl.nu/gkqi
  Replies (8) Good night (792) Bad night (239) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion

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  (413): Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion http://tfl.nu/n5in
  Replies (2) Good night (223) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt

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