i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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