you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize