I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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