Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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