I am midnight drunk by noon
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
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While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
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I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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