It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
why is half of my head shaved?
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