The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
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