I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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