Only a mothe r could love this liver
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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