Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize