WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
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His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
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At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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