At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
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is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
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I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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