I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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