I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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