I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize