Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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