i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Also, beer. Big fan.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize