HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
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my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
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He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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