the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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