I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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