We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize