Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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