I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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