when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize