Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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