Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
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Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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