Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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