the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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