A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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