we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
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The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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