She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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