so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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