Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize