I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He did a backflip because drugs
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