the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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