So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize