my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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