Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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