If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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