i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize