I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize