I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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