I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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