WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
so much tequila, so little girl.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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