Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize