I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize